Family Mediators - Divorce Reconciliation And Mediation NJ


If you are struggling to keep your marriage from failing then we can help. Most couples come to us to resolve problems, situations, and conflicts relating to:
• money
• sex and intimacy
• child raising
• religion

We are relationship specialists. Whether you want to end a marriage amicably or rekindle an unhappy one, we work with you to build the relationship you want.When clients call about divorce mediation, we tell them that we do four things that other mediators do not do. We teach couples:
• How to communicate
• How to have good relationships
• How to change
• How to resolve conflicts

Teaching relationships skills through mediation may seem strange if all you are looking for is help with reaching a settlement agreement for a pending divorce. As we worked with hundreds of couples, we found that learning a set of skills and techniques from us helped couples built better relationships, whether they divorced or not. We called this technique Focused Thinking Technology.

READ MORE about Focused Thinking Technology.
Focused Thinking Mediation is the most cost effective and has the highest success rate of any mediation process. Most couples seek help from expensive professionals to end the relationship. You have worked for many year for what you have, do you want to give it away just because you are angry? We offer a far better solution whether you divorce or not.

Divorce Reconciliation and the Focused Thinking Mediation Process

In one short four to six hour session we can help you resolve most of the issues you face at a tiny fraction of the emotional and monetary cost. We help you resolve your situation quickly and amicably - not years. If it comes to it, we help with all aspects of divorce, especially when it comes to children and parenting.

As relationship specialists, we put family first. We help couples reach their own settlements quickly and in a way that is least harmful especially if they have children. As mediators we are truly neutral, impartial and non-directive. This means that we never takes sides or tell you what they should do. The outcome is a joint decision reached by both parties, and the mediator is primarily a facilitator who hears both parties, and helps both parties to hear each other.

Most couples are able to settle their conflicts in just one or two sessions with the communication tools and skills we teach. Research shows that Focused Thinking is a simple and powerful model by which every relationship can thrive; a powerful model for change; and a natural and irresistible formula for conflict resolution.

Settling Divorce Problems

Like regular divorce mediation we will help with all aspects of divorce, but we offer more. The legal system is complicated and expensive and the adversarial process causes financial, emotional and psychological harm to spouses and children. We will help you avoid all that.
We spend time with you teaching new ways of communicating. You will hear each other in ways you never thought possible. You will deal with every issue you can think of, including: custody, child support, parenting, visitation, division of assets, primary residence, alimony, insurance, debts, taxes, grandparents rights, step-parents, and new relationships.

Recording the Settlement

At the conclusion of the mediation process you will get a record of the agreements reached - in what is called a Memorandum of Understanding. In the case of a divorce settlement, both parties are advised to consult with their attorneys, to finalize the agreement. The mediation settlement is a record of all aspects of the mediation, including division of property, child support, schooling, vacations, provisions for future dispute resolution etc. While Stanley Posthumus has legal training and seven years family law experience he does not practice as an attorney in the USA or elsewhere. He will explain how you can do your own divorce inexpensively, or if you choose, how to keep lawyer's costs down to a minimum.

Our main concern is your children – their peace, success and happiness. We aim to achieve a lasting conciliation so that you can resolve future problems amicably without the need for future intervention.

Success Rate

Focused Thinking has a remarkably high success rate in excess of 95%. We settle virtually every case we handle. Other reular mediation techniques achieve less than 70% success rate.

During 2000 and 2001 a study tested Focused Thinking mediation. Judges in the Michigan divorce courts referred high conflict divorce cases to Stanley Posthumus for mediation. These cases had been in court dozens of times.

Most of these were extremely difficult cases. Some had been in court over 200 times, others had been litigating for over 10 years. The skills learned allowed the parties to settle their own disagreements amicably without the need for further intervention.

The results were tracked over 2 years. Only 4 of 50 cases had gone back to court. Please refer to Judge Brown’s discussion of this study on “cases from hell” on the Video Case Studies page.

Reconciliation - "Is divorce the only answer, or only the best solution?"

Did you know that in 80% of divorce cases, one of the parties does not actually want to divorce? That is an astounding 40% of people who get divorced may not have wanted to. Unlike traditional mediation, where the couple is guided towards a divorce, with Focused Thinking Mediation, there is no foregone conclusion that the only possible outcome of the mediation is a divorce settlement. In fact, as we help couples to explore the reasons for the conflict and reach a common understanding of the reality that is their relationship, and through learning the Focused Thinking skills and constructs, many couples spontaneously decide on reconciliation rather than divorce. And, most of those couples do indeed go on to have a healthy lasting relationship, where they continue to use the communication skills learned though the mediation session.

Logistics - "How do we get this done?"

A unique aspect of our service is that we travel to clients’ homes (or other neutral locations) in order to meet with them in the most comfortable setting possible. It is most effective to meet in person with both parties for 4 to 5 hour sessions, however flexible options such as mediation by phone for situations where a couple has already split up are also possible.


As you probably know, divorce is often extremely costly. But it does not have to be! Because of our high success rate; the focused 4-5 hour session, and the value we add to Beyond Win-Win resolutions, you are likely to save thousands of dollars, often tens of thousands. Consider this; the vast majority of our clients reach a full settlement of all issues in one Focused Thinking Mediation session. Now compare this with the likely costs of multiple consultations with lawyers and other mediation techniques. For pricing, go to the Contact Us page for more details.

Added Value - "What else do I get out of this?"

During the mediation session, a lot of material is covered and many people find it difficult to remember all that was covered and learned. For clients who would likeus to we video tape the session and send it to both parties on DVD to refer back to, to refresh themselves on the communication skills and techniques learned. This also provides a useful means of resolving any questions that may arise over what was agreed.

How to Contact Us

To get more information or make an appointment please refer to the Contact Us Page.

Or call 1 (973) 428-1034 now.



Reconciliation - Divorce Mediators and Mediation NJ